As a caregiver, you may need to learn to heal differently than others.
People experience grief differently. As a caregiver, it can be a especially difficult. Your feelings of loss may be mixed with guilt, relief, and uncertainty over the future. Remember that you are not alone.
Give yourself time to get used to the ways things have changed. Acceptance will not happen overnight, but you will adjust after some healing.
It can feel very strange to find that your routine no longer centers around your loved one. It’s normal to feel lost and confused about how to spend your time.
Many caregivers find they miss the relationships they’ve built with their loved one’s medical team, or they miss caregiving and the purpose and joy these duties gave them.
It’s okay to feel relief after a loved one has died. Feeling liberated from your caregiving duties doesn’t take away from your dedication to your loved one.
There is no timetable for grief. Expect to feel "okay" one day and completely overwhelmed with sadness the next. The erratic nature of emotions tends to decrease and diminish in intensity over time.
Many people who are grieving have questions that don’t have easy answers. Questions like, "Why us?" and ‘‘Is there really a higher power watching out for us?" These questions about the meaning of life and spirituality are natural after loss.
If you find that sleep deprivation and anxiety lasts longer than a few months, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Local in-person or online grief groups are helpful to get support other caregivers. You can also be matched with a Caregiver Buddy on our Helpline at (877) 422-2030.
Your loved one has died and your heart is broken. You struggle to put one foot in front of the other, to perform simple functions at home and work, to find some meaning in their death. But most of all, you struggle to find a way to cope, to mourn, to grieve.
As you begin to put back the pieces of your life, you will find some don’t fit anymore and surprisingly, you will find new pieces that comfort you.
Simply put, grief is a natural reaction to loss.
The American Society of Clinical Oncology suggests:
From the book Awakening From Grief by John E. Welshons:
Survivors, caregivers, friends, and family members from across the world who know exactly what you’re going through. Join them on BlueHQ, our free patient and caregiver platform.
Our certified Patient & Family Support Navigators are here to connect you with a vetted Buddy who has been through a similar situation to offer meaningful and useful advice.
Connecting with other family members and caregivers can be a helpful way to find support and get answers. Try our online chat group to talk to someone who is going through a similar situation.
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